Every Night At #TGIW (Jiak Kim Edition)
Blame it on the night… don’t blame it on me.
It’s Wednesday night. You have an 8am sectional the next day. You bump into your friends in the corridor at school and the next thing you know, you’re sitting on a curb waiting for your friend to finish throwing up. How did you get from a self-respecting student to a full on party monster… on a Wednesday?
We here at The Bullet are no strangers to a certain area around River Valley. As the school year closes and the parties commence, we thought it’d be fun to take a walk down memory lane and list out a chain of events that we thought we’d seen the last of.
1. Getting your booze on
Your friends invite you to an acquaintance's hall for just some chill drinks and you agree. One beer wouldn’t hurt, right? You remember the mountain of work left undone and the nightmare of sitting through a three hour sectional hungover and shudder. Not this time, son. You’re going to be RESPONSIBLE.
Someone suggests playing a drinking game. You lose horribly and down whatever alcohol you have on hand in a feeble attempt to prove your masculinity.
You lose your willpower and end up at no other place other than Zouk. You want to punch yourself with regret but unfortunately it’s now too late to pull out. Everyone settles down in a comfortable spot by the river. Your friends start spam calling you while trying to find you. Which bridge are you at? First or second Zouk bridge??
How times have changed :(
2. Be in a constant state of confusion
It’s now late enough and most people are sufficiently inebriated. You are confused because everyone seems to have suddenly picked up smoking.
Everywhere is a bed as long as you drink hard enough.
You get up and you realize that a fellow comrade has fallen. You groan to yourself and with much difficulty you finally manage to dump them into a taxi, only to realize that you can’t find the rest of your friends anymore.
What follows subsequently is simply
1) repeated calling
2) repeatedly shouting “WHAT??? I CAN’T HEAR YOU” into the phone.
Like The Terminator melting in lava, you vaguely hear the word, ‘Phuture’, before the line cuts off for real.
I’ll be back… at Phuture.
You soldier on to Phuture alone, eager to join your friends. However, before you know it, you are stuck in a human traffic jam. Your friend texts you saying that she’s waving her phone around with the torchlight on and you can’t help but to laugh at the obscene amount of stupidity.
3. Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle…yea?
After (pardon the primary school expression) what seems like an eternity, you squeeze and elbow your way through the crowd to join your friends, only to realize there is absolutely no way to move and dance at all. You wonder if you’re on the East-West line instead. You wonder why you’re even here in the first place.
The DJ shouts “EVERYBODY FUCKING JUMP!!!!” but you’re simply too sandwiched to even hop. You find yourself spitting out hair from girls who seem to think that they’re in a Pantene commercial. Somebody’s stiletto stabs you squarely on the foot. You scream out in pain but obviously no one can hear you. Your wailing in pain is mistaken for inebriated squeals of ecstasy.
“YAAAAAS!!! Me too!!!” - unaware idiot who just stepped on you
4. Dark times
Some idiot suggests tequila and this wipes out logic and good behavior in half your friends. (Nuff said, take tequila only at the beginning of the night and you’ll have a good time.)
You see a hotheaded punkass friend of yours try to start a fight. Another friend can’t stop chanting like a gangster from the 1990s, and it looks depressing as hell because he’s the only one doing it… and doing it offbeat. Another couple can’t seem to separate their faces from each other. One has fallen asleep on the first couch he could find.
Standing less than 1 metre away from someone who merlion-ed on the dance floor, you try to block out the vague feeling of splatter you felt on your legs (#truestory).
Not the heroine Zouk deserves, but the heroine it needs.
It’s part mayhem, part entertainment, but 100% more stories to tell the next day.
5. Someone FINALLY gives in and says they want to leave
You heave a massive sigh of relief. What a sweet, sweet angel. The words, "Hey guys, shall we leave?" sound better than anything DJ Ghetto has been putting on the entire night.
Everyone pretends to reluctantly agree and act like they have no choice but you know that everyone is just as happy to leave as you are. Everyone splits up to try to find a cab that would take you back to campus because who actually knew River Valley was a location for taxis to change shifts?
Hello uncle, your taxi sign never even say you changing shift hor…
You swear that this will never happen again for the rest of the semester. No more missing sectionals, you need those class participation points….
Eat, sleep, rave, repent.
6. Supper
You finally make it back to campus (or home), your poor ears still ringing. Some trooper suggests getting food and you agree, famished from the intense physical workout earlier that night/morning.
You knock out before the food arrives.
7. 8am Sectional
You have a splitting headache and your breath still smells like booze. Not surprisingly you arrive late for class and realize that all the seats have been taken except for the front row. Your wonder how your friend still manages to look so fresh and awake when barely 3 hours ago you saw them puking outside the valet carpark.
You curse your stupidity and try to summon what’s left of your willpower to stay awake for the next 3 hours.
9 stages of regret.
8. As the age old proverb goes, “Eat. Sleep. Rave. Repeat.”
After all, Friday’s just around the corner. ;)
Was there anything we missed out on? If you've got some crazy stories or experiences from one of your nights out and are keen to share them, submit a story to thebulletcampus@gmail.com!
