The University Lecture Drinking Game
Works best for a Friday 6-8pm lecture slot.
Lectures can get pretty boring. In particular, lectures on a Friday evening - the only obstacle between you and your weekly pre-Zouk drinking session. If you’re stuck in one and can’t get drunk with your friends back in hall just yet, we’ve got just the thing for you: a drinking game that allows you to drink at the same time as them, in your lecture, which is basically the same thing (not really).
Or better still, invite said friends to crash said lecture and play said game together. IN. SAID. LECTURE. Here’s the university lecture drinking game to help you and your friends destroy both the bell curve and your livers, all in the span of 1 hour and 35 mins. You’re welcome.
What You Will Need
1) Some Alcohol The quantity and quality of which is entirely up to you - a bottle of Belvedere (legend) or a bottle of Bacardi Breezer (pussy), whatever floats your boat. We do, however, recommend some sort of hard liquor instead of beer because you don’t want to end up having to go to the toilet every 15 minutes and missing half the lecture. Take your education seriously.
2) A Drinking Bottle You definitely don’t want to be holding a beer or drinking from a cup 20 metres away from your lecturer, so you’re probably gonna need a regular bottle with which to store your alcohol. One of those gym-rat protein shake bottles (large and obnoxious, much like the owners themselves), works perfectly because whatever colour your alcohol is, there exists a protein shake that looks like it.
Source Yes, indeed it could.
3) A Persevering Spirit No, we’re not talking about the tequila that you can still taste in your mouth the morning after a night out - we’re talking about raw, hardcore perseverance to continue on with the game, even when you don’t feel like it, because we guarantee that if you follow the rules entirely, by the time the lecture hall alarm rings at 7.35pm, you will be pretty f***ed up.
Motivational quotes over drinking pictures are the next best thing right after monkey haircut memes.
How To Play The Game
Because taking shots is not only impractical with a bottle, but will also get you kicked out of the lecture way too early for being drunk, we’ve decided to go with sips instead. Of course, this means that you and your friends can cheat, but just know that cheating in NUS can get you expelled.
Take 1 Sip (for those pretty common occurrences), every time:
The lecturer poses a question to the entire lecture
The lecturer proceeds to answer said question himself
The slide moves on before you’ve had the chance to copy anything down
You spot someone doing some online shopping (double if it’s taobao)
You see a dank meme while scrolling through Facebook
Someone asks a question (double if with a fake accent)
The lecturer tells a dad joke
The lecturer uses a meme in his slide
You spot someone wearing a NUSSU, hall or camp t-shirt
You spot someone sleeping
You spot an fboi (double if you’re the fboi)
The lecture runs over time – one for each minute after the alarm
Take 2 Sips (for some uncommon happenings), every time:
The lecturer reads out a slide word for word
The lecturer slips into a shit anecdote about their youth (2 sips for every painful minute this goes on for)
The lecturer stays silent, waiting for people to stop chatting
Someone does that loud sneeze, after which everyone laughs
Someone new enters the lecture later than 30 minutes in (double after an hour)
The lecturer can’t figure out how to work the hall/room lighting
You spot someone in formal wear
You spot someone with hair the colour of any of the 7 colours of the rainbow
You smell a fart (give out sips if it’s yours)
You spot someone on NUSWhispers (for the love of god)
You spot someone watching anime (double, hell, triple if you recognise it, you weeb)
And 3 Sips (for rare sightings), every time:
The lecturer uses comic sans in his slides (why)
The lecturer swears (double if it’s a Hokkien profanity)
You get picked to answer a question
You spot your ex in the lecture
You spot an FASS hipster
A phone rings out loud (double if it’s the lecturer’s and triple if it’s your own)
You spot a guy who has the audacity to wear that hideous olive green army t-shirt out
You make eye-contact with that creepy dude in the lecture (yeah, you know that one)
Someone gets an answer wrong in front of the lecture – a choice can be made here; if you shout “BODOH PEH KAMBING” at the moron, you don’t have to drink (if you’re drunk, you’d probably do both)
You see someone eating something that doesn’t count as a snack (double if it’s laksa and triple if it’s f***ing laksa YTF, god!)
Finally, enjoy 10 Sips (for those once-in-a-blue-moon, insta-story-worthy moments), every time:
Someone brings a pet into the lecture (yes, this actually happened)
Someone’s porn plays out loud on their computer
You spot someone who brought a sleeping bag to lecture and used it
DJ Jade Rasif is in your lecture
You spot someone reading The Bullet
So there you have it - the fastest way to get through a boring lecture without falling asleep.
Disclaimer: This article was written with the intent of humour. You might want to check with the rules of the university before you engage in the consumption of alcohol on campus. We shall not be held liable for anyone’s expulsions or disciplinary actions faced.
While we do not encourage any behaviour that has the potential to be disruptive in a lecture, hit us up at thebulletcampus@gmail.com if you do end up trying this out! And while you're at it, enjoy some memes on the house by following our Instagram page @thebulletcampus.
P.S. Law Students please hit us up as well as we will probably need legal advice after this.
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About The Author
Mister Worldwide, the founding father (may he rest in peace) of the soon-to-be (so he says) viral news site, The Bullet Campus. Some say that he once got a tinder date using only a photo of his dog as a profile picture. A well-travelled millennial, he speaks 5 languages and is a man of many tongues (who knows to use them). You could call him a cunning-linguist.