The Same Old Things To Look Forward To This Second Half Of The Year

Because history really just repeats itself. #throwforward

You might have noticed that during the two days when June transitions into July, you will never escape an encounter where someone tells you wistfully that they cannot believe half the year is over. You can count your blessings if that person doesn’t start telling you about how fast their child has been growing, while you feign interest and listen to them with wide-eyed amazement (just a casual example thrown in, we’re totally not speaking from actual experience).

I really could.

It may be hard to deny that the first half of 2017 has been a real doozy, but here at the Bullet, we prefer to keep looking forward and move on, just like how local news outlets are moving on from a certain dispute regarding a certain prime property in Orchard Road.

This french guy gets it.

We’ve compiled a list of things to look forward to in the coming months. Why be stuck on #throwbacks when you can #throwforward?

1. School Resumes/Starts

Nothing says “I’m fun and hip!” like a badly cropped display picture.

A flurry of events awaits everyone when August rolls around. Remnants from the previously-touchy-feely-but-now-overly-paternalistic camps linger around campus as a reminder of keywords such as “youth” and “energy”. From the bidding meltdowns (I refuse to come to school at 8 AM) to the hoards of freshmen walking around looking lost/asking people to vote for them for their faculty pageant on Facebook, to the module APPEALS (please sir I stay at Changi I can’t reach school at 8 AM), August always happens to be a hectic month occupied by academic woes and readjusting your sloth life in summer to a sloth life in school.

2. National Day

A screengrab from the 2016 national day theme song…or was it 2015? 2014?

Every year, without fail, masses of Singaporeans will crawl out from their Kopitiams, Gong Cha queues, and Raffles Place MRT to proclaim that Home, by Kit Chan, was the best national day song ever. It is a consensus that has brought more Singaporeans together than an inaccurate portrayal of Singapore on a television series.

I didn’t know Donald Trump was a Singaporean...look they’ve used his hands here!

National day bonus: Instagram shots taken at Ce La Vie/Pinnacle@Duxton and the sudden outpour of patriotism coming from friends who spend the other 364 days wishing Singapore would be less “boring” and “sterile”.

3. Seventh Month

The lunar seventh month is characterized by general uneasiness, avoiding stepping on burnt offerings and ge tais joining in the background noise of your neighborhood.

While it may not affect any of our readers (we hope), when Seventh month rolls around we all find ourselves a little jittery and superstitious. Freeze up every time someone taps your shoulder? Avoiding looking out of the windows in the lift in case the same boy appears outside over and over again?

Jit lang jit pua...mooncake. Okay?

On the bright side, here is your yearly chance to witness and enjoy of a dying craft. Don’t want it to disappear like SweetTalk, Frolick, or Wendy’s? You’d better head down to support them this time. Just don’t expect lasers coming out from their durian bras.

4. Mooncake Festival

Remember when we were little and we walked around our neighborhoods carrying little lanterns? Well, not really.

"If it's got truffle it must be good and I will pay $666 for it" - Singaporean

Be prepared for another barrage of Instagram posts of fancy mooncakes and fake whining about gaining weight. Bonus points if you manage to do a fancy flatlay showing the origin of the mooncakes! #raffleshotel #champagnetruffle #ritzcarlton #mandarinoriental

5. Exam Bullshit

It’s November, you can almost(!) taste the snow/sea/sand, but before you get there, wave after wave of deadlines will come at you, like an educational bukkake of sorts. Night and day means nothing to you at this critical time, your bloodstream has more coffee than water, someone makes a my-eyebags-are-prada joke and you find yourself nearly mauling them…it’s a dark time but nothing compares to the dark fog of cluelessness in your brain.

Diffusion of knowledge.

It is possible to find slight comfort venting your frustrations during the online professor evaluations, but it is also not impossible to realise that writing that evaluation was the most effort you put in for that module anyway.

6. BREAK

Congratulations, you’ve made it alive (literally, but we can’t say the same about your grades) to the end of the 2017. If one thing is for certain, it’s that 2017 has been and will continue to be one hell of a shitstorm. So treat yourself for making it to December (relatively) unscathed by indulging in some generic activity, like raving until dawn at Zoukout, or raving until dawn at Zouk, or raving in the afternoon at Tanjong Beach Club. It is time to pass out somewhere else instead of the library.